CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED

I come home at night and my pen has nothing to say to me

The paper just stares out the window ignoring my entrance

Dishes laughing out of corners of smirks lying in the sink

These carpets stay filled with lint and dust

Creating something out of this apartment, out of nothing I must

Pouring my lust on to these pages turning these battles into stages

Closing my kitchen blinds I shut the windows and prepare for sleep

Washing these teeth so rigorous I brush pee toilet flush

Wooby and Tikki holding me down, Henry Miller before sleep

My feets’ fold down, falling again like this every night, to sleep

Outside the birds weep while the moon stays up late on a run again

Traffic keeps coming in Hollywood at all hours of the night

Carl’s Jr. drive thru still doing all right I contort into R.E.M.

Falling past my day my mind takes me away

Off to cuckoo land we go, where it rains and it glows

Its purple when it snows, and these flying pigs keep us laughing

Like ducks, barking through the fences we jump over buildings

Crawling down slip n slides I walk across water every night

Creating this circus Barnum & Bailey in my head just above the bed

And still you’re here too, I see you in the stands

Eating popcorn sitting on your hands, still smiling like a child

With your flashing glow sticks, the little boy next to you nose picks

While your eyes just follow the spotlight to the center of the stage

My eyes just follow the stoplights your part of my rage

Your bones are my cage and you keep me so locked away

Ice cream helping, eyeliner melting, pushing your bra down below

The lines with my hands, I mangle your panties like spoiled fruit

Waking up in a cold sweat just missing the kiss, fucking dreams

Making me miss those precious moments all taken for granted

Well not really for granted but there were just so many

In such short amount of time, how many white lines, did we

All have to say so much in between all of our beautiful silences

Stretching stretch marks over smooth skin, causing chain reactions

With chemicals we live in a state of horror constantly weighing the bore

Or the lug of this wheel that keeps us spinning called life

Trying not to lose interest in a wife, calming myself a few times

Everyday this way, unfolding and forever spinning on these vibrational

Thought waves, for this is the movie that I project onto the screen

For this is my most awakened realest dream

YOU'RE CUTE WHEN YOUR DRUNK

These potholes keep me bouncing

Sounds like creaking steel beams

Reminding me that I need to replace my shocks

In this dark desolate alley I find myself within

This monster you can’t see 

I am inside of him

The pain rushes away

Through the iron gates I prance

Like a cat burglar I dance

Counting the windows that you told me of

Two, three, four, you are five

Stretching open this screen already starting

To feel serene

Catching my hand

On this nail I feel subtle, blood emerging

Disrobing has never been faster than this

Flashes of riding my bike in the rain

I’m six years old and this dark street

Remains the same

The way you hold me so close

Tugging at this black skirt like a towel

Reaching up my hand swells as well as my-

Finally dressed you are the way I see

The movie I always order but have yet to be

The school bell rings at ten and I’m older again

Running from class back to your arms

Skipping over these cracks in the sidewalk

I give you my arms forever emotional

These black-hand cuffs you scorn me with

Shocking me, scraping my skin, they feel too tight

Realizing this fight is my glory

My hands locked away

Pulling my hair loving the way you hurt me this way

On my knees I beg for mercy but as the daylight

Seeps away

I grow older in this alley

If only my father could see me now

His boy all aloud and taught

With you I am caught

You stand so tall overshadowing the moonlight

Thrashing me around you inhale this scent

Your blood splashing in my mouth

Stinging

So softly it runs through my teeth

Spitting you away

Somehow you caught me

Again today

Drifting back to sleep

Again with the television on edge

Finding the corners of my bed

My feet just dangle and tap

This rush is my lust and forever does fade away

The darkness keeps me so warm

Spilling all over me like a swarm

The deep pacific blue

Seeping these gums I chew

You always kill me like this

Feeling your knees

Buckling we charge this wall

Caressing together we fall

Into the night again

Takes so much longer these days to come back

This pain I love it all so black

Like taking a hot shower in the dark

Too ashamed

To see the light

I scrub this dream

Away

Taunting the fact that this just may be

Another wet dream

Of you and me

Rolling around this bed

Sifting through these playgrounds in time

Awakening in my mind

Safe and sound

Like a silly painted clown

No red nose

No red balloons

Just the sun

Coming up and this little red cut

In the palm of my hand

CUTS THAT DON'T BLEED

Sitting in my county blues

Indian style

In my white sheets

Cross-legged content

Reading arms bent

Indigent glasses

Commissary classes

Like a camp we all just can’t leave

Soldiers in training but fighting

No war worth starting

All of us separated by these cars

No where to go but far away from nothing

Faces pacing

Wondering all day

Just trying to sleep this time away

Just a little more time

Holding on just a little more to my mind

I can’t let you go

I won’t let it show

This pain I must endure

These demoralizing ways

I must stand strong

Like my father dying again

Like hurting you in the end

This pain I must walk through

Deep inside

WAITING FOR SNOW

The crack of noon is when I bloom

Oh blessed bed full of dreams

House quiet and clean

 

This autumn comes soft

Like pillows of down in my life

I see you all around me circles swing

 

Hey room

I think its time we oughta separate pretty soon

There’s a world to dance in out there

 

Like stages full of lights and sets full of swings

This season brings change to me

Like distant foods

 

No longer wearing the same shell

This past now for sell

Pretty please with change

 

Take this away take this ball and chain

Watching Mcain on TV isn’t too exciting

The world still sold on television

 

I’m sold on romance and candlelight

Dreaming of taking flight over mountain tops

And cliffs abound, waterfalls all around

 

 

Rain forests of hope

White rapid rivers and streams

The kind I always see in my dreams

 

This place such a mess with this past

Clinging to me like a wet dress

Disrobing again today

 

My coffee swirls caramel colors water paint

Collages of life to taste this way

I have to go outside today I must

 

Taking charge of this engine kicking up dust

Dancing forever into winter

BODY ARMOR OVER THE TABLE

I think I’m back again finally I come

Down crooked sidewalks so still

Footprints down the walk of fame

Nothing to shame

These October months

Greeting me so kind

This seems my time

Skin green-orange to red-brown

To sing fluttering

Falling peaceful back and forth swinging

Towards parking lots of shiny cars

Things of memory in tiny jars

Limbs reach pointing fingers at the sky

Hair blowing up the hillside

Roam the sky

Watching life change before my eyes

Feel the strength

Gained between my thighs

Empowered, nothing can stop me

Not even you

Taking your love hostage I do

Keeping you safe

In a bounty of love and passion

How must we fashion

So many ways to show we care

Just being there is enough sometimes

Feeling the arms of another

The face we keep covered

Letting you in just a bit more every day

Each way I choose

Not manipulation

 Just copulation

Well yearned for

Deserved more

Savor the juices of the richest

Passing the plates of meager to the side

My ears on your thighs

This limber property

Subsidized into sections of arousal

Take time to find the hidden bushes

Filled up goblets with calming drinks

Special places to visit, to make still

Loving the way that you treat me

I hold

No expectations

Debut, the timing true

Everything meant to be

When you’re in the room

Make me feel at home like

My soul belongs to my body

Shoes go with my feet

Lips only kissing yours

Lay this body armor over the table

Watch me command

This post I hold post

Allow me to go again

Grow again

Sew the royal and respect the mother

Take this feather

Give to me your lace

Take this leather

Press your heart to my face

Let me feel the rhythm

Your blue blood pumps

Activating life again we will

Ability to instill a new army

We could give birth to great men

Making the presidents of tomorrow in bed today

We could create a scientist to enlist

All the wars of man away

All of this we could

Do this way

Spreading legs

Spreading arms

Taking me home 

We evaporate

From physical realm and turn to light

Sophisticated time travel unravel

Through galaxies with no names

Back around the sun this game

We can play for a million years

For time has-no-hands

Falling sand is just sand

But here back on earth this hand is real

Take me and feel

Every pore

I adore

You sing me so melodic

Robotic I follow the sound of your moans

Walking this path in the dark to the garden

You’ve shined so much light on this palate

All I can see is white

Shimmering all around me

All I can see is white

THE COLD

Holiday cheer

Relatives stand clear

Disarming all who sense a scent

A predator for rent

Casualties on the rise

The skies the limit

And demise the rhythm

A feeling of content

As all is bent

Out of proportion in fear

Still like a deer

Standing against the wall

Facing the world

Washing me by

I guess I do miss getting high

Not the flight

But the preparation

The obsessive reparations

Sneaking baggy

Bottles of coddle

The thirst for a good lie

Spontaneous lovers eye

Walking on guard

Roaming the most

Rocking the boat

Floating a ghost

Through walls and rules

Crushing all around me with cold

BURIED TREASURE MAPS

Losing my train of thought in the rearview 

I stare spacing 

Watching the world pass me by

Traffic dancing like a marching band

Lights flickering daytime

This fantasy so safe with you in arms reach

My crime

Enter this pitch-black cave wooden floors, the walls so secure

No one ever knows this secret garden that slowly grows

Submissive to your ways 

Your thighs marble, my chest a stone

I’ve been starving for this heat

Feeling so cold on my own

Every mans desire 

Letting this womb perspire we stretch

Adjusting my eyes to the night I see your flesh

So many times we’ve been here before

Roads of dialogue

We never drove before

Only knowing our inner selves

The us on the inside

That the world can’t see through consuming eyes

You take me to this black box in my mind and turn the key

Letting these butterflies loose they flee

Flying around they loom

I feel so much safer in this dark room

No judging

Just budging

Bulging with brim

Colors like copper we spin

Shadowed in the abyss

This time you won’t miss

Me

Watching these seedlings grow

Spreading me open breaking

This fortune

Reading these lines that are so easy to see

If you are really looking yet no one ever really is

 

Calendars have brought us closer for now we have to huddle

We just can’t dance without it

Like drum with no bass

I love when I feel you on my face

Thrashing I stay at peace

This room glows

Yet just minutes before I felt so dark

Staring into your eyes

We both grin like children

We win

My legs like doors

Together we stay ajar

Watching the clouds

Slide like beers down the bar

This garden grows alone in isolation

The flowers seem so beautiful today

Releasing this joy with every turn

How can this be so therapeutic I grin

Feeling at peace with the wind

I’m ready to start again, we lay in silence

For these are the roads

We drive but just don’t speak

Down my chest I leak

Like blood that drips in the sink at night

Scared to admit

This might just feel right

I fall back into my cave a lover’s slave

Freed from his cage

We are now free to roam the cabin

To the cleansing station I head

Jam jars capped I feel fed

Never looking back at you in your bed

Losing my train of thought in the rearview 

I stare spacing

Watching the world pass me by

Traffic dancing like a marching band

Lights flickering daytime

THE CLUBS OF WAR

The cold steal of my hand
With weapons we demand
Respect in a moment
The gun I hold

Kept neatly under the bed
The safety she brings
Feeling the fear
A stranger coming near 
Endangering
The house

The middle of the night
I can pull her out 
With all my might
Holding this gun to you
Commanding attention

To pull this trigger
Shooting the pain away
The darkness creeps today
My gun 
My salvation in sleep
Awaiting the bullets to spray

Since she's been gone
The fear still skips along
No more near she is
Reach into the night for you


They took you away
The past
The money
The pills
The lies 
The deceit
The pain

My protection 
Against the night
My gun alone 
In some storage tank
Missing your shiny bullets
As I sleep

Reaching for you
In nightmares
Your case still sits on the shelf
The case where you lived
Now sits alone 
And silent
The place where my gun
Once lived

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF

If the sky bleeding grey

has come to be clear

the writers block chipped away

the black steer of the day

rich and deep

the velvet of my mind

lay before us all again

I am free to let this muse run

 

Free again and found a way

At home alone I feel so strong

Feeling the intimacy of this pain

The life long body bag search for love

The private investigator he never sleeps

Inside the office all night he stays

Always searching for new ways

Finding true love a mission in life

Forget a wife

Let’s just find a new lover

For old time’s sake

Shake the bottle

Spill a few pills

Let’s burn a drag

Share a few grams then grab

Some rest for the night

The black beauty of life

She has just begun

 

Feels good to be home

Back in the saddle alone

Knowing just maybe

Just maybe

This may be a coupe ride home

To the end

The backseat for pictures and books

Lingers and looks

I steer with my knees

As I sharpen these hooks

For the big fish are harder to catch

And this new bait won’t last

Prepare world you’ll soon see

Oh dear world

You’re in for a real treat with me

LYING TO MYSELF

“I see it with my eyes closed” I grumbled out of context

She said, “What?”

Fuck, I thought I was thinking

 

I said I see it with my eyes closed

Making waves in the ocean

With my new lover my minds froze

 

Watching galaxies fade away from the bed

The colors, they turn from orange to red

Splashing in this current I stay focused

On this new stranger I land like locusts

In these fields

Devouring this flesh

Through you I travel like mesh

Eating away at your skin this condom feels so thin

Just enough separation to feel the strange in this stranger

Now once again becoming

My new lover

 

We twist and turn like a tetherball on a rope

You return smashing like leather I hope

We learn these new moves

Together we orchestrate

The vibrancy of a new love date

I sweat, eyes stay closed

Opening a new road to home

 

The colors build up in my pockets

Releasing this light into deep sockets

Show me how deep this love can be

Tread with me on this wave

Digging into you deep like a cave

You paid me in full I am your sexual slave

Save me from this nightmare

From the corners of my eyes I stare

Peeking out the windows of my soul, eating this meal I deal

Slowly letting you win, I turn to sin as I climax

My heart aches

While the oceans furl

My toes curl and these anchors 

Just swirl

 

I collapse like lungs unto this platform of doves gently

Holding me afloat sore like a throat you come back to me

Through dead eyes the room falls, the camera hits the floor

We both lay crooked

Watercolors dry and crack

I lay back

As grey matter turns to black

Dead pan floored I stare

Blank like the desert

Imagining you next to me it hurts

Why are you doing this to me?

Ruining my new girl with this old world

You were supposed to leave me alone tonight

Now she can feel these scars through

These gentle bars of tragedy, I sting

Like a magnet you pull me, like disease you kill me

Haunting my orgasms you thrill me

Like a haunted house

You just jump out

From behind couches and screams

You yell

Just lying there in my arms like a cadaver

I mourn you again

 

New friend naked and panting telling me I am so amazing

While I’m already in my head watching you fall back to sleep

The arches in your back

Your pretty freckled face

Spills all over this place

I’m tucking you back in

I’m plucking this black tin

Harp into songs of separation

Singing this melody alone across town

Bed sheets soaked

Hearts full and choked

Knots in my back

I relax

Into this morphine drip allowing the darkness

To succumb me away

I love dying this way

 

A few minutes pass

I stand and walk away

As if an act of defiance and allegiance to you

I am going crazy it’s true

My mind is broken it’s blue

And it rains in the sun

This pain feels fun

And time means nothing - to me anymore

This pain means nothing - to me anymore