Sunday, September 27, 2009

BUT LIKE MY MOTHER

Hurting so bad

Touching your skin

Such sin

When your lips

Touch mine

 

Chemicals release inside my brain

Spectrums of electricity must

Jump from neuron to neuron

Collapsing memory pods

From years before

 

The storm you bring to mind

The clouds billowing in time

God your eyes burn through

The core of my existence

Every time I see the little kid

Inside of you

 

Driving your million dollar machine

Touching you so insane

The most giant softest lips

Of all time

You’ll never be mine

Why can’t I just turn and walk away

Knowing the barbwire is just too much

To take when the spikes crush my hands

Bleeding palms

 

Fleeing pawns

The characters of my life

Will surely run and cry when I damage them

Surely it will just hurt too bad

To walk away so many times

From you

 

I must come to you again

To see in the light

Just give me one more memory tonight

Risking the lessons I know to be true

Insanity with you

God you drive me so crazy

But it’s still so wrong

Why can’t I just sing this song

And let it slide like

The rocks that want to crumble

 

Standing under this humble

Still mumbling when I walk away

Watching your face in the distance

I see the woman I wish I could hold

But like my mother

I just never could reach you

I never got enough

And sand paper is too rough

To rub across your legs

Bleeding from the head

Mentally aching

 

I miss the sound of your voice

Calling my name in the sheets

Perfect sleep

A perfect heap of flesh

We make when we lay this way

Something about our brown skin

That just makes sense

Yet there’s nothing easy

About you and me

 

Forging through

Our own eternities

Still alone

Searching for love

And searching for one

Something with someone

Something worth meaning

God you’re so good

At leaving me

Quick snap and your gone

Never believing you

Yet this time I must let go

For I know too much

This time around

To pretend otherwise

 

A fool in love

A cool black glove

To cover my hands

When I lift weights

Some cool black skin

To cover my face

When I have to lift you away

Somehow

Life will take us away

 

For my love

My Christina

There will be a time

When I must allow myself

To fly away

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Monday, September 21, 2009

THE CHILD INSIDE

Dead sea scrolls

Once I read

Along the swift currents

Of the red sea

Pounding so hard

The salt in the air


Waiting for you to come home

The fantasy well grown

Years of thought waves

Hating mopping the kitchen floors

So many boxes to put away

Closets full of clothes

Never worn anymore

 

With my eyes closed

I call your name

As my eyes

They get weaker

So much quicker reaching

For my glasses

The jewelry just seems to grow

On my arms with the ink

Tattoos of memories

And milestones

Sometimes it’s so hard

To just not think

 

 

Sometimes it’s so hard

To quiet the mind

Keeping focused and excited

A daily goal I reach

The checkered flag

Waves inches in front of my face

Every day a new experience

I meet

 

Pondering a life away

Waking through tall cities

Buildings

The size of mountains

Wondering

Where my wife is tonight

Crossing the oceans of history

Flashing the scenes

Of fallen civilizations

Romanticizing

A well earned death

Curiosity of that barrel

The final click

And just a mess

 

The sun rising over the pyramids

Reaching for the stars

Our society of swollen

Hearts and packed filled bars

Cars crashing, babies are born

Let the birds fly south

For the winter

As I go deeper

Inside

 

For another hundred years

I go deeper

Inside

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CLOSED EYE SWAN DIVE

heat rises in the bedroom

like water about to boil

air thick with your panties

lip gloss on my pillows

the dead of the night

desert heat

we stir on top of these sheets

white cotton covers your tail

lips and arms frail

some distant thought of jail

reach for the blinds to crack the glass

lets some cool air pass

something to stir this wave

of heat and salve this room

full of love ready to bloom

just water this plant

no need to wait and see

everyone’s watching

waiting for you and me

to say something

to each other

to the world

make some sort of statement

with this bed we have made

so many times your head

in my arms I lay

on top of you like a hunter

writhing deeper together

like bumper

cars

we bump thighs and legs

jogging we sweat

highs and edges

of cliffs we climb

paying mantra’s

through time

together playing

like the children we once were

watching the traffic speed by

feel the kiss of summer

in the corners of my eyes

suppose I could just let go

this rope burn start to slowly

heal

as the string takes to the sky

watch my little red balloon fly

and let go of something called comfort

letting myself go

falling over the cliff

knowing

willing to fall

with nothing there to catch me

and not a care in the sky

new pics

THE CHANGING SEASONS OF MY LIFE

Old spindles paint the sky

All projections from the times before

Colored floors

Glances from strangers eyes

Little Mexican girls jumping around

The girl with long coal hair

Down the isle leans back

To pour water down her throat

Business men finger fucking blackberries

Tourist scurry

At the sight of the next big scene

Hollywood can be such a dream

 

Down here under the city heat glare

Tunnels that stretch so far

From decades before

Plotted and planned

The city of angels landed

Long before I ever thought

Of any of this

 

My train arrives like an airplane

Screaming down the tube

Squeeling brakes

Just the moment it takes

To step inside

These sliding glass doors

 

Linoleum chocolate

Cupcake floors

Strangers scattered like litter

There’s a man

Passed out

Head bouncing gently on the glass

Priority seating for seniors

And disabled

Immediately I’m stabled

Into upside down bar stools

Hanging from the ceilings

The loud-speaker mumbles

In seconds I’m humbled

At the sight of our public transportation

 

Takes me back to Europe in a flash

Dancing through Paris with cash

Was just like a dream

I remember 19

Holding hands next to the Seine

With you

 

The tunnels curve past western

I’m back in the mountains of Lucerne

Watching the enormous rocky skyline

Pushing into a long summer

What a bummer

I haven’t been across the pond

In almost a decade

 

I used to promise I’d make it

No matter what the trouble or glory

Nothing else to worry

About

With a back pack and my poems

Women, wine and the open road

A whole new world to discover 

Again

On my own

 

Back in my zone

People are leaving

While my hips just shift with the brakes

Making great time I see

The journey has been so good to me

This morning just thinking

It’s not about the destination

But the things I see along the way

The friendships people make

The colors and textures

Of distant days

Taking it all in

This lifetime I wander

An artist

Recording everything I cross

 

Your face

The sun settling into place

Another dimension

Of time and space

So much stimulation

Such a vibration

Shifting to higher plane

Even on this subway train

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