ON BOTH SHOULDERS

Tossed & screaming

Writhing glass arrows

Flowering, toasted barrels

Of lime juice with cinnamon

Backgammon & linoleum

Chiseled braided hair

Deep cheek-bone jawline

Fine as hell

& ready to rev

Engines roar, skyline

Soaring, succumb to dumb

Numbness & my thumb soar

From calling your phone

Answering the tone

Responding to love

Sharing this hot steamy mug

Of morning coffee with the dog

And my wife what a great fucking

Life living this way with you

Tossing turning somehow

You always meet me on the same side

Giving strides of woman kind

Shattering misconceptions

Of the way things were thought

To be, reaching through

Teaching you is me

The teacher; fuck the glue

This is life meant for two

Unwrapping myself from

Your February arms

Can be difficult the cult

Of personality falling apart

In your arms & the 1^st time

You told me the way

Lips & bubblegum

Triggers sandwiched Mimi

And burrito, cold toes

So we go to the warm side

Of the bed-threesome morning

My 2 girls on both shoulders

Boulders of the world

I can’t feel them

Just the soft pillows of feathers

Beneath the birds, beneath

The wind, beneath my wings

The city looks so small

Us the clouds have surrounded

I don’t think we can get away

We might as well hand over

Our wallets, jewelry and watches

Letting it all slip out of reach

Allowing us to be

In charge of nothing

I think for sure we have

Lost this one to love

THE SILHOUETTE OF LIFE

I walked past last night

Hurried & swept away

Scarf stuffed neck

Headphone rattled drums

It was her eyes that caught

My attention

She awake

Sitting upright, wheelchair

Blanket in lap

Covered & wrapped

Happily watching night

Life saunter by

The silhouette of a life

Once had her eyes

Today again I saw

On the way to work sittng

Up right wheelchair

Again wrapped fleece

Somehow still peace

With the way the sun

Had decided to set

Upon the hills

I always wonder what that

Last day was like

When you spend your first

Night alone

In the streets

That last week

Lost the last

Material possession

& the they city becomes

Your home

Wheelchair

& blankets

Purse wrapped tightly around neck

She said she’s scared to sleep

Cause she has medicine

On her

& there are drug addicts

Out here & she don’t

Want to get robbed

Still slobbled in rings & bracelets

Gold goblets of jewelery

Jesus this woman looks like

My aunt on the corner

How the hell did you get here

I ask her tonight the third times

A charm, I can’t just keep walking

Un alarmed

Is there something I can do

Just a cup of coffee all she asks

She loves coffee

Till seven am breakfast comes

And on Monday a bus ride

To her debit card

Home hospice maybe more

What’s a week or two the streets

She says

Then mentions she’s been out since

Thanksgiving of last year

Not even a tear

Just crystal blue eyes

Through looking glasses

Black pleather purse purched

Perfectly in lap

I hurry back home

To make a cup of hot coffee

With sugar & cream I ask as

I’m still at work

We breathe

What a world we live in

Today, somewhere I wish I had the balls

To say, come home

You can sleep in the living room

For the weekend

But I don’t, I just

Go back home where it’s warm

And prepare a cup of coffee

For the woman on the

Corner, waiting on Friday night

Till Monday comes to take a bus

To a place where she probably

Won’t find, until another time

She says her name is Cindy

ALL THE ANGELS

The rain whispers

Outside the kitchen window

Like many days before

It’s amazing how fast

The pussy willow tree grows

One day she’s naked

The next she’s dressed

For dinner

Saying hurry up

Lets go

All pink buds closed

Waiting for the sun

To open her up

Like my girlfriend

She puts up

With my mood swings

The severe weather

Sings, us to sleep

Alarming, for residents

Of Los Angeles to

Get so much rain

Almost gives a pinch

Of pain, as it reminds

Us of the life we left behind

To come & play in the sun

Under hums of a freeway

All of us in ways

Dreamers

Lost astray

In songs from the 60’s

Rock-star dreams

Hippy love making scenes

We’re the ones that sang

Too loud, we danced too

Strong, most of us

Yes, we stayed high for

Too long

But not too high

The swells today

The ocean in the rain

Grey like my mother’s refrain

Making sure I don’t do anything

That she wouldn’t approve of

Still reaching for the white doves

Of love, cometh perch

Gently my shoulder

Lift ways the boulder of guilt

& shame,  a lifetime

Of take & greed

Saying yes till we bleed

The citizens of Los Angeles

We are the angels of the world

Resting peaceful again

Comforted between

Four warm walls, as the gas

Heater clicks back on

The Christmas Tree

Still in song & the sound

Of these keys, clicking

Feel me trickling

As another rainy day

This way cometh

I WON'T BE HEMMING

Sometimes I need to walk

To feel the city breathe

Late at night

Watching traffic whiz by

The dark irony

Of life

It’s the homeless

Who go to bed early

Up curly with the sun

Now blanketed

Drunk & doomed

Under the watchful eye

Of the moon

 

That place where the old

Wells Fargo ATM used to be

The Staples business refuge

For the wind, biting hard

The night skies beauty at large

While my feet ache from

Another long day

So long have I stray’d

Losing sight of the city

Sometimes I need to feel

My life walking home

I pray

 

Walking home alone

The cold

It’s real

Letting the city

Breathe me in

Learning to put love

And myself in the same sentence

Putting up with sin

 

Needed to get out

Of myself tonight

Wanted to fill the void within

Watching your aged legs

Spill out of your dress

Splashing over your chair

Like a hunter I

Smell lust

It’s right there

With the color in your hair

 

Plus I slept way too long today

Amped up and charged

Into you like a barge

I push

You pull

Eyes closed

Like vampires

Biting

We thirst

My bedroom

The great hearse

 

Splashing dance floor

Winded brown & soft

Yet, suddenly I’m lost

In missing my own lover

Like waking up with no covers

Cold, now curious

Fantasy expires

Desire is gone

Like a balloon pop

Instant drop

Stop & roll

And just walk the fuck away

Needed to get out

Of myself today

 

Walking home to feel the streets

The city I breathe, within

Pasta boat stuck on TV

Outside CNN

Glued to the way

The world looks this way

Passing the places

Where she walks

The zone; I used to call it

I guess now it’s

Just down the block

Whatever & however

Were all black birds

To a flock, the mother

Of tick & time she tocks

My desires stock, crumbles

Like the dirt beneath these

Shovel’s heaves, the winters

Tree’s, leave

Barren & skinny

Just fingers to the sky

Pointing out the places

Where I used to get high

This void inside, just needs

To be home, no death match

No throne, the garden tonight

I thought I needed

But instead, I just needed to feel

The dead, of winter

And the city breathing

Cold concrete

Beneath my feet

No harm no foul

I’m going home where it’s safe

And sound, where I

Can’t & won’t hurt you

 

Where the sky stays so blue

A place where the void

She can rest in fleece

And I can whisper feelings away

I guess this is showing up

I guess this is growing astray

Noticing the times

I reach outside of myself

For an answer I can

Only find in Him

The one meaning of life

Within

Begin

Overwhelmed

With questions

I stop & settle in

 

Don’t need to answer anything

Tonight, just some warm clothes

& my bed, I guess instead

I just needed to feel the din

I just needed I guess

To let the city win

Like a tiny rip at the seams

I won’t be hemming

I’ll leave it there for show

Tonight outside with the streetlights

I guess I just needed to see them glow

To stretch, to reach

To allow myself to grow

BLACK RUBBER LIPS

Oh mimi’s kai some kissys

Just please, pretty please

God, I miss your knees

Your little white feet

Scattered all over my floor

Bending down to fill your bowl

Yes I have treats my lil girl

Everywhere we go

Daddy and mimi time

Leave mommy at home

She has dishes to do

I just want some kissys

Please, maybe two

More times

Around the block

Ill let you smell everything

You want, just come when I call

And sleep when I cuddle

My baby girl, shuffle

We dance in my arms

Like a baby I cradle

Oh little princess

I miss your toes

Rubbing your belly grows

On your back now you trust

Face to face I thrust

My lips against your

Little black rubber lips

I wanna feed you every meal

Our love baby girl is real

Just hurry and come home

Cause I really want some kissys

My mimi’s I can’t go too long

Without you, now that we’re here

We must go everywhere

I wonder what your doing

When you’re all alone, come

To live with me and ill give you

Your own thrown

Pink little tongue licking

Long white hair everywhere

Somehow love has taken over

And I just don’t seem to care

That everything black

Is now a shade of grey

I wish everyday

My manager would let you stay

Cause I hope mommy doesn’t

Get too jealous, but I love

When we have our own time

I never loved a little girl

Like this before

Oh my little mimi’s

You’re running through

My world

FIFTEEN ADORNED

Sitting here thinking

December eleventh

I probably

Should be drinking

But that would be another story

And then this wouldn’t make

Much sense to me

Make more sense to me

This year, my life

The jar, every time

I shake it and step afar

Different colors shift

To stars, the smell

The memory always feels

Different, like books

That age, the pages

Wilt and fade, yet

Somehow even dead

Of the night, tonight

Your smile still burns

The way you wear

My jewelry, I can still

Feel your stare, you

Think of me too

And for that

I color us both blue

And spit these paint balls

Against the wall

Watching the way the colors bleed

Into my mouth

Passing your house

I can’t not; turn to think

Stop to stare

Sometimes I dare

I still want my share back

Part owner in this company

Looking through your

Pictures like

Pressing down

On broken glass

The pain of asking

The stain and masking

Tape to cover the seams

The places where I never

Painted your trim

Wondering if that purple

Still lives on

Smeared and sponged

I’m right here behind you

Hovered and lunged

Were both doing our hair

Pretending not to feel

Black tights paint your thighs

I can still see my son in your eyes

And I am afraid you just might

Too, a relapse for two

This season for you

Oh December, like

The wind and the glass

You cut me & my past

Shoveling us along

With the snow

I try to not let it show

But Cancer baby to the core

I can’t lie, I can’t ignore

The artist inside must

Bleed, I feel

I have taken the time to heal

I even stayed strong-

One year, no smoke babe

One year, still I choke-

Slaved

Wrapped in scarves, I brave

The new day

Walking forward I know

I must keep going

But it’s dam hard today

To not fall to my knees

And whimper

The ways I still wish it were you

Somewhere, deep in my mind

I’m still sitting here with you

My heart

On the porch keeping you warm

Making out like we’re fifteen

Adorned

Hoping

For nothing, except

Falling asleep to your charm

Waking up in your morning arms

The birds and the bees

The sun comes through the window

Even the sky looks the same

From your place

So close we live

Yet so far we stay

One year ago today

Just for a few minutes

I’ll let the pins and needles flank

Loving you

Sitting here blank

I remember

The eleventh of December

BE THE BLESSED

Loving the way your voice

Rattles through my phone

Pushing one just to hear

You again, your so full

Vibrant, uplifting and spirit

Talking so soft

Your lips like moss

On the great Oak tree

Under the moon

Soft as your skin

To me in the morning

Mika my love comes

Running after a long sleep

Under the bed, she just

Can’t leave your side

Your shadow, her pride

My two baby girls

Sleeping at my thighs

The way God graces me

With women

Must be the blessed curse

Of the world

Reaching over

My new world

Just lays there

Waiting, watching

For my marbles to wake up

Look around and smile

Hearing the jingle

Dragon lady comes to life

I kiss and snuggle

Shiver and huddle

The softest arms

For me you reach

FACE JUST SINKS

Walking home in the mist
Just to feel the city kiss

Kiss, my skin
The club cars rolling stops signs
Preying cop cars, skipping white lines
Passing the street
We walked our first night
Like stepping in water wearing socks
Feeling the pain seeping
Curtains smudge black
Through walls

Floorboards steep, creep
Under these city streets

It would never be the same
I never knew
The way we met
The hour in your frame
Burns on my hands
Memory sings so loud
The way you created a home
Naming our children today
Throwing away tomorrows
Cause I swear you had your hand
On mine too
The years ago
I dreamt of you
Before you finally came

I never wanted you to know
The biggest fantasy in the land
Your love
My hand, your man
Why couldn’t you just
Understand
Somehow I never told you
Scaring so easy to see
The flames you raised
Would eventually burn even me

Like a new family
I would never be able to keep
For days you would turn away
I seemed to hurt us so
I never could tell us when to let go
I thought you were that ship
The distance now your lips
Some goliath rescue liner
Strong bow and full stout
Coming to take me home
After so many years of toil
I spoiled in the fact
I would finally make it home

That cold day
Smoldered flames
February called for love
But we must’ve
Just missed the call
Somehow we lost touch
With ourselves
And our dream
Somewhere
Someone let go

Such a dreary morning
The day in my gut
I would have to jump ship
Another mid journey test
Like all the rest
My heart just bore and sank
Walking warped and wooden that plank

From heaven to hellish mud
Another memory of suspended love
Your tiny hand against my side
The ocean takes away
With lips, your eyes

Wind blown hair
My feet began to crank

Toward crashing waves below
Awaiting
For me to evolve
Back into a little boy
I dissolve

You promised forever
But I can’t find you anywhere
Today
And to be honest I haven’t
Seen you in weeks
My face just sinks
The saltwater
As deep under the sea
Falling from this plank

THE HARVEST MOON

Quiet, the phone rang and subtle

Huddled answered I

It was Autumn that called back the sky

Under the stars last night

I had to take the roof down

Prance around our little town

Gallant and defiant

Happiness

Stomach fed and heart full

Laughing giant

And rolling my eyes

The way the season changes

The air feels different tonight

And then suddenly

When someone doesn’t notice

Like past cuts bled

Just like the lights that turn to red

Life has changed

Again

And today we befriend

A totally new place

And palace of mind

Our platform or time

On the planet

Wherever you are

Right now in this very moment

This is your home

In the night we lay naked

The places we keep

Those that stay sacred

Different sounds

Different drawers

Yet somehow it’s still

That same front door

Same front stoop

Yet changed and absurd

Totally different

Mind and picture frame

Don’t make it sound lame

Cause its not; it’s more

Fantastic

Than before

I’m wrapped in plastic

On the floor

Intrigued and beleaguered

Indifferent

And bewildered

The way that teenage girl

Wrinkles the sheets

Falling in love with my first

Four legged, counting sheep

Now begging to see them both

And the wrinkled sheets

Jumping to fall back

Into safer thickening sleep

Again in my arms

That morning when

The alarm arms

The dew separates plants

From the ground

The soft unspoken sound

Go easy on the sizzling bacon fats

Heavy on starches and proteins

Of birds awakening and then

That mean, loud

Rattling hum of the Mexican

Gardner and his drum

Las Palmas awakes like

A squeaking summer screen door

As we all bang and pour

Around pots and pans

Coffee pots, night stands

Round and round again

One more time

This time will be different

Yet somehow we know

So here’s the first throw

We awaken

And just like last night never happened

Hungry, thirsty for a new day

I look up and taste the sky

Autumn has followed us home