IN SOIL & SOOT

Still can’t believe

Thought so many nights

Stayed up late

Cracked ribs

Cracked stories

God I was so ready

To go all in

Walking the dog

Around the block at night

Alone

Stuck again in my head

This hot bed

Too lonely to get in

Just roll around top covers

With the fan on high

Every time I try

To lay down with

Another

You tear apart

Tear up & heart

Ache & burns

Pain charges

Stalls of walls

With marker you stain

My insides

How could you just

Up & walk away

Leave me here to stay

Back in the garden

With the dirt

& the trees

The bees sting me

All over haunting

Me back

To darkness

The cage that has long

Since rusted

Once again

Facing the moon

I climb too

& cling

The sharp rusted swing

Swings in the middle

Of the night

Followed by

The shadow

Of my dark brother

Swaying

Frightened

By another

Not ready to leave

This memory bed

I awake

Full of lead

Our love has stained

Drained

Fingers can’t remember

These keys

Just your house key

Dangles with mine

Still, perfectly

In time, but hasn’t been

Used for so long

Are you missing me

Have you moved on

What about the dog

And the mornings

Our love

Our life

Now with no water

I strife

& dig in the dirt

Finding my way back

Into the ground

The place I know

Best

Cover me in soil

& soot

The root of evil

Lay here with me

Deadened & gray

Just to pray

That I don’t stay too long

Buried

Here in the dark

Alone

& cold

Getting old

Again

Walking

Through this garden

Of shame

Always

My garden of blame

Looking for that hole

In the ground

To cover myself

Up

In the warm earth

Of darkness

To seal myself

Into the night