Holding the light up
For as long as I could
Walking cloaked
For too long
How could we not
Stop to rest
With each other
Sheltered
From the pain
Up in the hills
We hiked that day
Heading to the sun
Into life
Exploring
Arms open
Roaring
Waterfalls
Jumping
Through the trees
Adventure man
We ran up into
Upland
To higher ground
We found our love
That day in June
Still can’t believe
Thought so many nights
Stayed up late
Cracked ribs
Cracked stories
God I was so ready
To go all in
Walking the dog
Around the block at night
Alone
Stuck again in my head
This hot bed
Too lonely to get in
Just roll around top covers
With the fan on high
Every time I try
To lay down with
Another
You tear apart
Tear up & heart
Ache & burns
Pain charges
Stalls of walls
With marker you stain
My insides
How could you just
Up & walk away
Leave me here to stay
Back in the garden
With the dirt
& the trees
The bees sting me
All over haunting
Me back
To darkness
The cage that has long
Since rusted
Once again
Facing the moon
I climb too
& cling
The sharp rusted swing
Swings in the middle
Of the night
Followed by
The shadow
Of my dark brother
Swaying
Frightened
By another
Not ready to leave
This memory bed
I awake
Full of lead
Our love has stained
Drained
Fingers can’t remember
These keys
Just your house key
Dangles with mine
Still, perfectly
In time, but hasn’t been
Used for so long
Are you missing me
Have you moved on
What about the dog
And the mornings
Our love
Our life
Now with no water
I strife
& dig in the dirt
Finding my way back
Into the ground
The place I know
Best
Cover me in soil
& soot
The root of evil
Lay here with me
Deadened & gray
Just to pray
That I don’t stay too long
Buried
Here in the dark
Alone
& cold
Getting old
Again
Walking
Through this garden
Of shame
Always
My garden of blame
Looking for that hole
In the ground
To cover myself
Up
In the warm earth
Of darkness
To seal myself
Into the night
So wide
The skies
I cry
& yelp
For help
Please
Strike these stakes
Set up camp
Alone
To love again
Tearing open
This ribbon of life
The smell
Of your arms
Wrapping me
So
The day
Glows
& pours
Sunlight
All over
Dampened
Clothes
The sins
I can’t commit
You torn
From bed
My eyes
My head
I hope the
Dog is fed
While paint
Legs spread
In purple
It bleeds
From your walls
Your house key
Just stalls
In mid air
I stare
At my keychain
& the place
That fits
This key
Stuck again
With me
Your delicate shoes
Line the wall
Next to mine
How long
How much time
Till I get
A cardboard box
& box our love away
With afternoon shadows
Our heat slowly fades away
Just the memory
Of the day
I hold tight
Falling again
In love
So young
An angel
True
This place for you
Next to the bed
Alone in my head
You are this place
To watch you sleep
Such pain
I weep
The thought of you
Growing up
Walking through
The forest alone
You have tools
Tricks of the trade
Oh be brave
My love
As you walk
Through this next
Damp season
On your own
Tossed & screaming
Writhing glass arrows
Flowering, toasted barrels
Of lime juice with cinnamon
Backgammon & linoleum
Chiseled braided hair
Deep cheek-bone jawline
Fine as hell
& ready to rev
Engines roar, skyline
Soaring, succumb to dumb
Numbness & my thumb soar
From calling your phone
Answering the tone
Responding to love
Sharing this hot steamy mug
Of morning coffee with the dog
And my wife what a great fucking
Life living this way with you
Tossing turning somehow
You always meet me on the same side
Giving strides of woman kind
Shattering misconceptions
Of the way things were thought
To be, reaching through
Teaching you is me
The teacher; fuck the glue
This is life meant for two
Unwrapping myself from
Your February arms
Can be difficult the cult
Of personality falling apart
In your arms & the 1st time
You told me the way
Lips & bubblegum
Triggers sandwiched Mimi
And burrito, cold toes
So we go to the warm side
Of the bed-threesome morning
My 2 girls on both shoulders
Boulders of the world
I can’t feel them
Just the soft pillows of feathers
Beneath the birds, beneath
The wind, beneath my wings
The city looks so small
Us the clouds have surrounded
I don’t think we can get away
We might as well hand over
Our wallets, jewelry and watches
Letting it all slip out of reach
Allowing us to be
In charge of nothing
I think for sure we have
Lost this one to love
I walked past last night
Hurried & swept away
Scarf stuffed neck
Headphone rattled drums
It was her eyes that caught
My attention
She awake
Sitting upright, wheelchair
Blanket in lap
Covered & wrapped
Happily watching night
Life saunter by
The silhouette of a life
Once had her eyes
Today again I saw
On the way to work sittng
Up right wheelchair
Again wrapped fleece
Somehow still peace
With the way the sun
Had decided to set
Upon the hills
I always wonder what that
Last day was like
When you spend your first
Night alone
In the streets
That last week
Lost the last
Material possession
& the they city becomes
Your home
Wheelchair
& blankets
Purse wrapped tightly around neck
She said she’s scared to sleep
Cause she has medicine
On her
& there are drug addicts
Out here & she don’t
Want to get robbed
Still slobbled in rings & bracelets
Gold goblets of jewelery
Jesus this woman looks like
My aunt on the corner
How the hell did you get here
I ask her tonight the third times
A charm, I can’t just keep walking
Un alarmed
Is there something I can do
Just a cup of coffee all she asks
She loves coffee
Till seven am breakfast comes
And on Monday a bus ride
To her debit card
Home hospice maybe more
What’s a week or two the streets
She says
Then mentions she’s been out since
Thanksgiving of last year
Not even a tear
Just crystal blue eyes
Through looking glasses
Black pleather purse purched
Perfectly in lap
I hurry back home
To make a cup of hot coffee
With sugar & cream I ask as
I’m still at work
We breathe
What a world we live in
Today, somewhere I wish I had the balls
To say, come home
You can sleep in the living room
For the weekend
But I don’t, I just
Go back home where it’s warm
And prepare a cup of coffee
For the woman on the
Corner, waiting on Friday night
Till Monday comes to take a bus
To a place where she probably
Won’t find, until another time
She says her name is Cindy
