AND THEN I SEE

And so you cast this spell

Over me

Or was it just a rainy night

That made

Everything seem right

I have so much faith in myself

And the feeling I get when I know

It’s right

Yet there’s that fear

Late at night

Creeping on a bike

That sometimes wants to

Stand in front of the light

Causing an angelic eclipse

Of reality and bliss

Confusing the way

The water falls to the ground

Watching the puddles

Hearing the sounds

I sit alone and walk

Through this month

I must remember this is still

About me

Always about my trust

In you

And faith

And the way home

Hard to not put so much

Weight on your shoulders so fast

I can view the history

And see that I often ran out of gas

Suppose it makes sense

To go easy on the pedal

Holding back in ways

Would rather just punch it

But that’s what I always do

And then it’s only in the kitchen

Where I only see you

Just sitting here alone

Typing away

Filling pages of books

No one seems to read

Healing myself

From my own self inflicted need

Of needing something

Someone

My mother told me today

To be careful not to smother you

How could she say something

So relevant and we never even

See each other

She knows me without seeing

Me I was born from her flesh

Her blood is of mine

Her mind must be like mine

At times such a mess

Oh mother I must confess

Sometimes I want to blame

This all on you

Been difficult not to smoke

So many years of catharsis

My last real vice

Finally the time to kick

Chewing so much gum

Seems to work for now

Still in the kitchen writing

Always

Pondering

Knowing

Something is coming

Knowing this faith

Is real

I make believe

My whole life

And then I see