Sunday, December 19, 2010

BLACK RUBBER LIPS

Oh mimi’s kai some kissys

Just please, pretty please

God, I miss your knees

Your little white feet

Scattered all over my floor

Bending down to fill your bowl

Yes I have treats my lil girl

Everywhere we go

Daddy and mimi time

Leave mommy at home

She has dishes to do


I just want some kissys

Please, maybe two

More times

Around the block

Ill let you smell everything

You want, just come when I call

And sleep when I cuddle

My baby girl, shuffle

We dance in my arms


Like a baby I cradle

Oh little princess

I miss your toes

Rubbing your belly grows

On your back now you trust

Face to face I thrust

My lips against your

Little black rubber lips

I wanna feed you every meal

Our love baby girl is real


Just hurry and come home

Cause I really want some kissys

My mimi’s I can’t go too long

Without you, now that we’re here

We must go everywhere

I wonder what your doing

When you’re all alone, come

To live with me and ill give you

Your own thrown

Pink little tongue licking


Long white hair everywhere

Somehow love has taken over

And I just don’t seem to care

That everything black

Is now a shade of grey

I wish everyday

My manager would let you stay

Cause I hope mommy doesn’t

Get too jealous, but I love

When we have our own time


I never loved a little girl

Like this before

Oh my little mimi’s

You’re running through

My world

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FIFTEEN ADORNED

Sitting here thinking

December eleventh

I probably

Should be drinking

But that would be another story

And then this wouldn’t make

Much sense to me


Make more sense to me

This year, my life

The jar, every time

I shake it and step afar

Different colors shift

To stars, the smell

The memory always feels

Different, like books

That age, the pages

Wilt and fade, yet

Somehow even dead

Of the night, tonight

Your smile still burns


The way you wear

My jewelry, I can still

Feel your stare, you

Think of me too

And for that

I color us both blue

And spit these paint balls

Against the wall

Watching the way the colors bleed

Into my mouth


Passing your house

I can’t not; turn to think

Stop to stare

Sometimes I dare

I still want my share back

Part owner in this company

Looking through your

Pictures like

Pressing down

On broken glass

The pain of asking


The stain and masking

Tape to cover the seams

The places where I never

Painted your trim

Wondering if that purple

Still lives on

Smeared and sponged


I’m right here behind you

Hovered and lunged

Were both doing our hair

Pretending not to feel

Black tights paint your thighs

I can still see my son in your eyes

And I am afraid you just might

Too, a relapse for two

This season for you


Oh December, like

The wind and the glass

You cut me & my past

Shoveling us along

With the snow

I try to not let it show

But Cancer baby to the core

I can’t lie, I can’t ignore

The artist inside must

Bleed, I feel


I have taken the time to heal

I even stayed strong-

One year, no smoke babe

One year, still I choke-

Slaved

Wrapped in scarves, I brave

The new day

Walking forward I know

I must keep going

But it’s dam hard today

To not fall to my knees

And whimper


The ways I still wish it were you

Somewhere, deep in my mind

I’m still sitting here with you

My heart

On the porch keeping you warm

Making out like we’re fifteen

Adorned

Hoping

For nothing, except

Falling asleep to your charm

Waking up in your morning arms

The birds and the bees

The sun comes through the window

Even the sky looks the same

From your place

So close we live

Yet so far we stay


One year ago today

Just for a few minutes

I’ll let the pins and needles flank

Loving you

Sitting here blank

I remember

The eleventh of December

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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

BE THE BLESSED

Loving the way your voice

Rattles through my phone

Pushing one just to hear

You again, your so full

Vibrant, uplifting and spirit

Talking so soft

Your lips like moss

On the great Oak tree

Under the moon

Soft as your skin

To me in the morning

Mika my love comes

Running after a long sleep

Under the bed, she just

Can’t leave your side

Your shadow, her pride

My two baby girls

Sleeping at my thighs

The way God graces me

With women

Must be the blessed curse

Of the world

Reaching over

My new world

Just lays there

Waiting, watching

For my marbles to wake up

Look around and smile

Hearing the jingle

Dragon lady comes to life

I kiss and snuggle

Shiver and huddle

The softest arms

For me you reach
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Saturday, November 6, 2010

FACE JUST SINKS

Walking home in the mist
Just to feel the city kiss
Kiss, my skin
The club cars rolling stops signs
Preying cop cars, skipping white lines
Passing the street
We walked our first night
Like stepping in water wearing socks
Feeling the pain seeping
Curtains smudge black
Through walls
Floorboards steep, creep
Under these city streets

It would never be the same
I never knew
The way we met
The hour in your frame
Burns on my hands
Memory sings so loud
The way you created a home
Naming our children today
Throwing away tomorrows
Cause I swear you had your hand
On mine too
The years ago
I dreamt of you
Before you finally came

I never wanted you to know
The biggest fantasy in the land
Your love
My hand, your man
Why couldn’t you just
Understand
Somehow I never told you
Scaring so easy to see
The flames you raised
Would eventually burn even me

Like a new family
I would never be able to keep
For days you would turn away
I seemed to hurt us so
I never could tell us when to let go
I thought you were that ship
The distance now your lips
Some goliath rescue liner
Strong bow and full stout
Coming to take me home
After so many years of toil
I spoiled in the fact
I would finally make it home

That cold day
Smoldered flames
February called for love
But we must’ve
Just missed the call
Somehow we lost touch
With ourselves
And our dream
Somewhere
Someone let go

Such a dreary morning
The day in my gut
I would have to jump ship
Another mid journey test
Like all the rest
My heart just bore and sank
Walking warped and wooden that plank

From heaven to hellish mud
Another memory of suspended love
Your tiny hand against my side
The ocean takes away
With lips, your eyes
Wind blown hair
My feet began to crank

Toward crashing waves below
Awaiting
For me to evolve
Back into a little boy
I dissolve

You promised forever
But I can’t find you anywhere
Today
And to be honest I haven’t
Seen you in weeks
My face just sinks
The saltwater
As deep under the sea
Falling from this plank

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Thursday, October 14, 2010

THE HARVEST MOON

Quiet, the phone rang and subtle

Huddled answered I

It was Autumn that called back the sky

Under the stars last night

I had to take the roof down

Prance around our little town

Gallant and defiant

Happiness

Stomach fed and heart full

Laughing giant

And rolling my eyes


The way the season changes

The air feels different tonight

And then suddenly

When someone doesn’t notice

Like past cuts bled

Just like the lights that turn to red

Life has changed

Again

And today we befriend

A totally new place

And palace of mind

Our platform or time

On the planet


Wherever you are

Right now in this very moment

This is your home


In the night we lay naked

The places we keep

Those that stay sacred

Different sounds

Different drawers

Yet somehow it’s still

That same front door

Same front stoop

Yet changed and absurd

Totally different

Mind and picture frame

Don’t make it sound lame

Cause its not; it’s more

Fantastic

Than before

I’m wrapped in plastic

On the floor

Intrigued and beleaguered

Indifferent


And bewildered

The way that teenage girl

Wrinkles the sheets

Falling in love with my first

Four legged, counting sheep

Now begging to see them both

And the wrinkled sheets

Jumping to fall back

Into safer thickening sleep

Again in my arms


That morning when

The alarm arms

The dew separates plants

From the ground

The soft unspoken sound

Go easy on the sizzling bacon fats

Heavy on starches and proteins

Of birds awakening and then

That mean, loud

Rattling hum of the Mexican

Gardner and his drum


Las Palmas awakes like

A squeaking summer screen door

As we all bang and pour

Around pots and pans

Coffee pots, night stands

Round and round again

One more time


This time will be different

Yet somehow we know

So here’s the first throw

We awaken

And just like last night never happened

Hungry, thirsty for a new day

I look up and taste the sky

Autumn has followed us home

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Friday, August 6, 2010

SALT SHE STINGS

Fingers to the heavens

Arms spread wide

Tidal waves

Going deeper

White foam

As your black bikini bottom

Moans, jumping up

Like imaginary jump rope

Ducking these swells

Glistening hope pushes

Afternoon rays reflecting

Shimmering listening skin


Looks like the tides

Coming in

Looks like my mind

Wants to grow dim

Don’t have to follow it

These days

I can let it run astray

Even if it goes far

Far away

I stay here on the beach

With you


Getting smaller

As these gigantic swells

They breathe

Reaching for us

The oceans salt she stings

Your hair blows

A girlish scream of joy

Our crashing waves deploy

As dreamy sandcastles

Gently come down

As these gentle waves

Drape you in a gown

Swishing wishing

Smoothing the sand away


Looking down at my feet

The veins crawl further

My own fond memories

On this beach

So many things to distract

Me, up there

In a darkened mind place

In another dimension

Of time and space

How many levels of life

And spaced out living

Can we restore

Like a giant closing oak door

Smearing layers of thought

Waves over the lines

Auburns and limes

Watercolors and time

Falling from a string

Through the sky


But slowly

As if weighted down

Breathing with my throat

I stay down here afloat

Safe and the sand

Resting with my hands

Content

My heart rate

And will set free

Watching you run

And jump with glee

As nothing else can see me

In these

Summers breaking waves

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Thursday, July 22, 2010

CHARCOAL WINDOW PANES

What a day

Some spirit from the past

Shown the way

Through your young woman

Frame, the new century

Somehow you have gained

Access too, so you slither

Through, like a girl

Just out of high school

Yet you re teach these old

Tools, the excitement for life

I guess this is why we have

December to May

I guess this is why we have

Somewhere to stay, tonight

Like you said last night

As you sketched my frame

Into charcoal window panes

Like some long lost artist

We all spin in our own

Universe and then we collide

And spin inside of someone

Else’s, but like they

Say on TV, everything

Is temporary, so for this

Beautiful cocoon to bloom

Let us sunny hot & perfect loom

I will take your hand to mine

Like a student that teaches

Me back, maybe I will

Sip from your veins just

A wee bit longer

Stronger we both

Seem to be, getting

And letting, things just

Be the way they are

Seems just right to me

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I'M SORRY

Broken glass shatters

Back stabbed

The way home in blood clot

Trails to the morgue

It is what I still do best

Strapping you in the chest

With fatal mortal sized wounds

Rounds filled with nitrates

To soak your blood

Cause it’s like the old game

‘You hurt me, so I destroy

It all from the ground up’

Pulling

Falling

Again aching

The knife between my legs

Slices you apart


Destroy what was left

Linger for long

Something so pure

So white

Now drenched in blood

And disgust

The way I leave the place a mess

You just can’t help but scar

By this charring nature

The nurture of dysfunction

Keep our motors wheeling

On hot engine oil we function

Like coffee brewing in the morning

I stay awake all night, just

Hating myself even more, digging

Deeper trenches of shame


Guard the light

The name of the game

Escapism

When I was just a little boy

Looking for love

With blood on my hands

And everyone crying

Trying to leave

Now awake a man

And once again broken

Another heart

Even my own

I slice so smooth

Waiting, watching

Towards the front of the room


Asking

Please send someone please

Come to the rescue

Only to be laid to rest

In these pages

Someone come

To my rescue, to find these idle

Hands, digging, sinking

Deeper in muddled lands

Ruining your weekend

And our dream plans

Some sort of fantasy ending

No boundary, no definition

Just hurt, and pain

When my mind wanders

Back to your face


When your mind wanders back

To our place

I can’t help but wince

At how bad things really got

Un believable

Where we got off

This train wreck against the wall

Bodies scatter the hillside

Crash and burn we fall

Helpless, distant, we fail

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Friday, July 2, 2010

INTO THE SUN

The river runs dry

Near the far end of the hill

The looking eye darker

Than before, the hour

Still clocking more

Shocking and dismantled

Carrying this bag of memory

Searching everywhere

For your scent


Somehow, disconnected

We have lost touch

No longer seeing your face

No clothes, no legs

Can’t even find the magazine

This month, so prove

To me you exist

Prove to me this

Wasn’t some final-fatal

Fantasy still believing

In me, the days ahead

May contain our laughter

And strides


Was such a dream to see

You, there in the night

Dressed in black robes, black tights

Boots and lip-gloss

Long hair and gloves

How the rain can wash

The city away

Why can’t I find the courage

To call you back my way


Still needing you, the night

The new door opened

And substitutions in place

Newer music, newer face

But it’s the comfort in the mess

I guess, searching for activity

And nothing less, than the best

I just don’t believe in bad timing

I believe in you and me


I believe I am the fool

Again because I believed

All the words you spilled

The days you thrilled

And put me, through

The times we made

Love so true


Watching you cook

In the kitchen

Burned into my hands

My forehead

Now looking at what

Was the present, now past

Burning this paper heart

So fast, where have

You gone into the sun

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